Transitions: Pressing Forward in Grief

Sorrow. Sadness. These are words that describe grief. Life rewind: grief came for one of the most important people in my life-my husband. It was December 18, 2014, which was a cold but sunny day. After dropping our girls off at school, we decided to do some last minute Christmas shopping for them. After a few hours, we headed home. As usual one of us would check the the house phone to see if we missed any calls. We did. As I finished putting away some items, I heard a screech like I have never heard before... then a Crash. I quickly followed the sounds into the living room where I found my husband rocking back and forth in a chair with his hands pounding the top of his head. The phone was the crash I heard, and it was lying on the floor. I picked it up to hear the voice (my sister-in-law) on the line say my mother-in-law has just gone home to be with the Lord. The transition was sudden.

The news was hard to take, because just six weeks before (the night before I started a new job) my husband's aunt had made her transition onto the Lord. It was sudden. She was Ms. Geraldine Wallace, and my mother-in-law's wonderful sister. These two women were beautiful, caring, accepting, and loving mothers. I thank God for having them in my life. I will always cherish the time spent with my mother-in-law and aunt. I have taken this transition process to heart, because my husband, girls, and I were unable to spend time with them last year in the summer. Summer is the time we look forward to every year, because we love going to Miami (husband's hometown).

 I have felt regret, because we were not able to travel there last summer. Although the occasion was a home going service for his aunt, I am glad my husband was able to see his mom. They were close and had a special bond. Mrs. Goring was truly a Blessing to us all.

Press Forward: it has taken me the last five months to write my thoughts down. I actually had started this post back in January, but was unable to write. However, I did manage to write a tribute poem while on an Amtrak train with my family. We left on Christmas day. I don't know how the words came, but they did. I was able to finish "The Mrs. Gloria"while on the 20 plus hour ride to Miami. I only shared the poem with one other family member, but the grief was too overwhelming. So in my notebook it stayed.

The poem stayed in my notebook until last week. This month of May is when we celebrate Mother's Day, but in my mind..it is Mother's Day every day. So in honor of my mother-in-law, I decided to share my tribute with my husband and in-laws. After getting the okay from my sister-in-law, I decided to share with family and friends on my other blog site www.thejoniecefile.com. My husband and his siblings each have a copy, and I hope my words have brought some comfort and peace. 

As time goes on, I hope the sorrow and sadness lessen. Yet the memory of my mother-in-law will grow in the hearts of those she touched...her Blessings. Everyone grieves for a lost one in his or her way. I don't know if the healing process gets better over time like the saying goes. All I know is getting through grief is a transition, in which you must press forward.

Kaisha

Blog post Copyright May 14, 2015
All Rights Reserved.

Transitions: Part Two

In my last post, my eldest daughter was in the doom and gloom stage of the summer because of the summer packets she had to complete. I was also feeling the doom and gloom, because I had to help! Now don't get me wrong, for as a parent this is what I do. It is my job as well as my daughter's to make sure her school work gets done. But I must say we couldn't even enjoy the last two weeks before school started, because we were so "overwhelmed." Tennis camp was over, and now she had to really get on the grind. I was glad she was able to take a trip with her teammates and coaches earlier in the summer for a week. Ironically it had to do with school, but it was a college tour where she learned about being a college student. She even stayed in the dorms. It is never to late to get started early!

Life Rewinds

So we are now about a month into the school year, and the chaos is starting to simmer down. Sort of. The transition to middle school status for my daughter has not been easy. So it got me thinking about when I started middle school oh some years ago! The first thing that scared me was I had no clue about the middle school (or middle school in general). I went to Rippon Middle School in Dale City, Virginia. It was located a distance from our house, and you had to take the bus. If I missed the bus, then I was short. I was a latched key kid, so you know how that goes! As a matter of fact, I missed the bus on my first day of 6th grade, because I didn't know to catch the bus down the hill on the next street (not on my street where the bus drops you off in the afternoon)! So I walked back home scared of how I was going to explain missing the bus to my parents!

Other things that scared me about transitioning to the sixth grade was adjusting to changing classes and lockers!! Okay lockers scared me, because I didn't know how to use the combination lock! My locker was so clean when we had locker checks! I used to carry my books or leave them in my homeroom desk (sometimes an empty desk)! What was going through my eleven year-old mind?!! I was not prepared, and being a shy/quiet child didn't help. I was scared to ask for help. Do you see the reoccurring theme?

Now Press Forward

In order to get my new sixth grader to have a better transition than I did, I had to give her the facts.

• She had to know: Her parents are here to support her, and that she can come to us for anything.
• She had to know: Her mama was "scared" on her first day/weeks of the sixth grade!
• She had to know: How to maneuver her way through the halls of school to get to classes on time. It was chaotic the first week, because no one was there to guide the new students. Now this was upsetting to me, because my child is new to this school. Yes, she did two day visits, but she was visiting with the fifth grade class where you only have one teacher! She did not know about homeroom, and that she would have to change classes for other subjects. Plus who hands you a schedule of classes and dismisses you out in the halls of chaos to find your way?
• She had to know: She could not leave her personal things in the classroom or desk, because she has a locker now! *Twilight moment for me now!
• She had to know: More was going to be expected of her now, because she is in middle school. Even though the school starts from Pre-k3 and 4 and goes to the eighth grade, her elementary days were over. Middle school has their own floor on the third level.
• She had to know: She has to be even more responsible for her personal items, books, assignments, schedule, homework, grades, and paying attention to all the classes/subjects.
• She had to know: She is going to learn (the hard way) how to be organized! 

How do you get organized with all the subjects and classes you now have to take? That is a question we had to tackle head-on, because like I said before-chaos!! So in order to keep some sanity, I had my daughter label all her folders and compositions books. It looked a little something like this:

Seven subject folders.
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
All Rights Reserved.

Labeled composition books and folders.
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
All Rights Reserved.

Now once everything was labeled, she placed the matching (labeled) composition book inside the corresponding folder. I can't say this is definitely working, because I have found other subjects mixed up in some of her folders (ex: music worksheet inside social studies folder)! Still working on it!

One item I had to take care of was the combination lock for her locker. Thank goodness she is better at opening a combination lock than I was at her age! To help her locker stay organized, I purchased on clearance for $4.38 (was $14.99 at my favorite Red Boxed store) a stackable locker shelf. She wanted to be able to separate her morning class books, folders, and notebooks from her afternoon classes! She is learning! Since I don't think you can take photos of the school lockers (you know school property!), the third photo shows how the shelf will look inside her locker. The pieces just snapped together inside the locker, and there you have it -organization! I also got her a magnetic pencil/pen holder and a magnetic wire basket to hang inside her locker. Both were one clearance for under $1 each. Parents you know this is the best time to buy more back to school items-when they're on CLEARANCE!!!

Just four parts to shelf!
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring

Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
All Rights Reserved.

Magnetic pencil/pen holder and wire
basket.
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring

Locker shelf put together.
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring

ALWAYS CHECK THE
CLEARANCE AISLE!!
ESPECIALLY A FEW WEEKS
AFTER SCHOOL STARTS!!












Now those of you parents, guardians, and caregivers who are old school like me may remember those infamous Trapper Keeper binders! You know the 3 ring binder with the Velcro snap in front that drove our parents and teachers crazy with that snapping sound! I decided to get one for my daughter, but I had to bring it 2014 style! So I bought a more update version  (also on clearance!). It has a type of water proof material with a handle and shoulder strap! As you can see, the binder holds her scheduler, pocket dictionary, calculator, loose leaf paper, folder tabs, has pockets in front and back to hold paperwork, and she can keep her little bag of supplies in there too.

Outside of binder.
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring

Inside of binder.
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring

Now these are a few things I have done to help my daughter with this new transition to middle school. Lord knows I am doing my best to keep her and myself sane through this process. Like I said before, it has not been an easy process. Plus she is not the only child I have going through a transition. There is my daughter in first grade who has her own issues. Thank goodness it is not as hectic as her big sister's situation!! Then again I will see this situation again once she gets to the 6th grade! Lord help me now!



So what is your Life Rewind? How are you handling the chaos of school? Has it simmered down? Feel free to leave a comment, and tune in next time to Life Rewinds Now Press Forward.

Blog post copyright October 9, 2014

Author: Kaisha S. Goring

Photos by Kaisha S. Goring

All Rights Reserved.

Transitions: Part One

Fall
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
All Rights Reserved.

Winter (Blizzard '10)
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
All Rights Reserved.

Like fall to winter, winter to spring, spring to summer, and summer to fall, we all transition like the seasons. To transition, means to change from one condition, form, or place to another. Somethings are easy to transition to, while other things are going to take some time. Take for instance, it is back to school season for just about everyone. Whether your child is going to daycare for the first time, pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, high school, college (which also pertains to adults going back to school), you and your child(ren) are transitioning. No matter what stage of the transition you are in, the question is: how do you handle it?

Life Rewind

Spring
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
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I finally came to the realization that I was in a transition earlier this year when we got the news that my girl's school would close its doors in June. This was in February at the height of winter. So my husband and I had to make a mad dash to find the next school for our girls (along with other parents). But before I could do that, I would spend time in the parking lot (after taking the kids in of course!) of the soon to be old school having mad discussions with other parents about our situation! We all had to vent about what we as parents were going to do next, because our lives were about to rewind. We would have to start the process all over again with calling, interviewing, and scheduling school visits with new schools. For the next few months, we would ask each other: "where is your child going?" The challenge for each parent was how we were going to help our kids transition to a new setting, a new group of friends, a new school. Like my eldest daughter, many of her classmates had started at the school together from pre-k3-k4 to kindergarten. She had six years, in which she had formed special friendships and relationships with teachers and administration. My youngest had one year to form her new kindergarten relationships after transitioning from her "old school" as she likes to say. Now they had to say good-bye to the old and prepare for the new. Transitions.

Summer (Great Falls-Maryland)
Photo by Kaisha S. Goring
All Rights Reserved.

Good-bye and Hello

So spring came with graduations (kindergarten for my youngest), hugs, kisses, promises to keep in touch and schedule play dates, and the doors to the old school closed. Summer camp and vacation time is here!!! Oh Yeah!! Rewind! Yeah school is out, but don't think you will not be doing any school work this summer. It is time for mama's school, because tennis camp starts in two weeks! Awwww........ Okay it wasn't all doom and gloom for my babies (they will tell you it was), for we did other activities. See my Great Falls-Maryland side photo?!!!  Anyway doom and gloom did show up after we received the summer packets from the new school. My new six grader got most of the gloom when she saw the following: 

3 book reports from the Reader's Workshop, which includes a work cite page, a cover page, a summary page, and a reflection/recommendation page.

10 prompt essays from the Writer's Workshop (no specification on how long each should be).

1 music essay on the Folklife Festival

1 research paper on Discovering Ancient Africa, which includes a poster of your choice of either the Ghana, Mali or Songhai Empires, 2 sentences on religion, society, government, art, importance of the Trans-Saharan trade routes, then 5 sentences or more of at least one object explaining what it was used for and why it was important, then answer the 3 refection questions at the bottom of the paper that must be attached to your poster.

1 religion paper on the Christian Denomination and History, which is the last page of the packet labeled for the 7th grade.

1 religion packet

1 math packet

1 science packet

1 music packet

1 Spanish packet

1 Reading Challenge Contest log

The rest of her summer was doomed. Was this the sixth grade or was this an entrance requirement for high school/college? My new first grader got a mixed packet of math, writing, spelling, reading, and one Spanish packet. Yeah?!! So mama had to put aside her little assignments, in which I thought was helping the girls transition. I (aka mama) was going back to school for the rest of the summer with my first and sixth graders, because all that work listed above had to be turned in on the first day of the new school. My life has just been rewinded back to the first and sixth grade, and now I must figure out how to press forward.

So What is Your Life Rewind?

Do you ever feel like your life is rewinding? How do you press forward? How are you dealing with your children's back to school transitions? Feel free to comment. Tune in next time on Life Rewinds, Now Press Forward.

Blog post by Kaisha S. Goring

Copyright September 20, 2014

All Rights Reserved.