Transitions: Look Who is Getting a Cellphone! Part One

From payphones to cellphones-my how times have changed. Life Rewind: As you know, I am the parent of a child who transitioned to middle school status. Now with that status comes the dreaded question, "when can I have a cellphone?" My answer: "I know where you are at all times, for I take you to school and practice after school." So of course this is not the answer my child wants to hear, but that was the answer she was getting! Plus she was not ready to handle such a big responsibility, 


 Now I grew up in the age of the big box cellphones (remember watching Miami Vice episodes and seeing those phones?!!) and pagers in the 80's. I didn't even get my first cellphone until the mid-90's when I was in my early twenties. If  I could make it without a cellphone, then my daughter should be able to make it without a cellphone. In my mind, this shouldn't be a problem for her. I know where she is all the time. Yet according to my daughter, she believes she should have one so she can communicate with her parents and for emergencies. Her case in point came when she had to answer a "persuasive question" that was part of her summer packet (last summer) for English. The question was, "why do you think it is important for you to have a cellphone, and how do you convince your parents?" Her answer was as follows:

"This summer I took a week long bus trip to Nashville, TN with my tennis camp coaches and teammates. I didn’t have my own cell phone to call home. I had to use one of my teammate’s cell phones to call my parents to tell them we had made it safely to Nashville. Sometimes I had to use one of my coaches’ cell phones to check-in with my parents, which was difficult. So that is why I need my own cell phone, so that I can stay in contact with my family. Also I can use the phone in case there is an emergency when I am away again."

Nice paragraph, and persuasive in her way, but she didn't get a cellphone. Most of her friends and students of various ages and grades have cellphones. So of course this adds to her reason of why she should have one. But I am not responsible for any of the other kids but my own. I know where she is, because either my husband or I transport her everywhere.

Yet, my daughter's point about being able to communicate with us in case of emergency is valid. There has been times when she needed to talk to us, but she had to use a friend's or coach's cellphone. Like the example she gave above, it was difficult when she was away in Tennessee. Although we were able to call her via the coaches' cellphones, time to talk was limited. The kids with cellphones were able to contact their parents when they needed, while my daughter had to ask permission (via friend's phone or coach). I then thought about how strange it may have been for a parent to see a foreign cellphone number (mine or husband's) on their monthly statement (that's only if the parent paid attention to who their child called).

Now Press Forward

So look who finally got a phone! Okay now don't think we just caved in! This event of my daughter finally getting a phone came after months and months of discussion (actually this journey started about a year or two ago!). Last month for Mother's Day, I finally told my family that I wanted to upgrade my ancient phone (this journey/transition will be part two!). The upgrade would be my gift. So on that day, my hubby and girls took me to the Sprint store. While being upgraded, my hubby decided he would upgrade his phone too. So in turn, our daughter was getting his IPhone 4 model. Now my hubby and I had already discussed this scenario with our daughter. So it was no surprise!

We didn't just hand over the phone, for I made sure to write-up a contract! There are rules and regulations, in which my daughter must follow! She knows it is an honor and privilege to have this cellphone, and that it can be taken away at any time (that statement was in bold print!). Signing the contract meant she read and understood the rules, regulations, and consequences. My hubby and I signed and dated the contract with her. We then made sure she had the proper settings, like being able to find her phone at any time. Also I downloaded appropriate games from the App Store, so that I know what she is playing. Plus she doesn't have a her own Apple ID, which is a concern. At age 13 she can get one herself, but I can create one for her as long as I use a credit card. But that's another story!  I personally programmed her contact list. Because I know her close friends and their parents, she was able to get their numbers (mom approved).

It' has been more than a month, and she still has her phone! The transition hasn't been all smooth, but it has been a learning experience for her and us. My husband and I check her phone every day to make sure there is nothing inappropriate on the phone. So far she is being responsible and we want to keep it that way (safety too). So this has been Part One of "Look Who is Getting a Cellphone! Stay tuned for Part Two of Life Rewinds, Now Press Forward.

Kaisha (author)

Blog post copyright June 25, 2015
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